with it also my heart...
wow...who knew...that nagging pain i had was appendicitis...it hurt soo bad..and the experience of being on an operating table was...not to be experienced again any time soon i hope...
its juat like in the movies..where u see all those lights flashing as they pushed u to the operating room, the humiliation of being naked in a room full of strangers...and the worst? still being awake when they inserted the tube inside ur throat.. im still recuperating at home..the best thing is i got 2 weeks of sick leave..and...i lost weight alot...sue to the fact..that i have to fast before and after operation...then on liquid diet for two whole days.... but i have a big ugly scar on my tummy and it still hurts when i laughed aloud or cough..which i did a lot..the coughing..not the laughing... got a bit of a flu... when i sneeze its hell...man this hurts... but at least im up and about now...thank god for that....
now the most important that flashed tru my mind..or dream..i dont know which..was my boyfriend..or my ex boyfriend..even though i had fooled myself that he has good qualities..but now i have confirmed that i was stupid, stupid stupid for loving him. the reason? hmmm cant you guess? he did not even come down to see me..he doesnt realize that i could die that day.. when he called..that was after i called him, he said he'll wait for me to get better... hundreds of people called me everyday to ask me how i am...and he doesnt even bother to call...then he said..HES GOT HIS OWN PROBLEM..ohmygod... i just cudnt take it anymore.... i decided to leave him, but i didnt tell him, wat for? he doesnt really call anyway...he only wanted me when im healthy, fun, not give him any problem..now what kind of relationship will that be? where are my needs? of all the selfish people out there...hmmm... i dont want think about it...but i have to..so now..i decided to ignore him, if he calls ill answer, i can act...but i will never think bout him anymore and i have considered my self single from now on..there....i feel better....
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment